Relationship Agreement – feedback and analysis

In my earlier post I proposed a biblical based relationship agreement.

Since I have little readership at this point, I posted it on a christian sub-reddit.

Funny thing though, I got little feedback answering the questions I asked:

Do you see any value in this type of agreement? Why or why not?

Is there anything you would add or exclude?

I did trigger some enlightening responses.

SkimTheDross had issues with the legalistic nature of the agreement which I agree may be problematic for some couples. But I think some couples may find comfort in clearly defined roles and responsibilities. It seems to me that some personalities are drawn to this. Level of maturity is also a factor. The immature need clear rules and discipline to train them in righteousness.

Red-Curious thought this was an attempt to negotiate attraction. I replied: Never thought of it in terms of attraction. But this sort of thing seems to have caught on in some part because of it’s use by the fictional alpha in fifty shades. It is a way of getting explicit consent.

Origional_Username7 was enthusiastic about doing this type of agreement to protect himself from the type of harm his ex caused him.

Willow-girl in true feminist thinking suggested punishments for the husband.

My reply: God and the government take care of that and it can be hell.

Nyqil-Junkie had the most amusing comments:

Some woman is gonna make a fine desk ornament out of your testicles.

AND

Oh you’re gonna have the best marriage ever. I just wanna know how much tranquilizer this will take to get her to sign it. Like loopy she can still stand and talk levels or the full Cosby?

I found these to be the most valuable comments:

Deep_Strength

Or just do Bible studies with her on the Scriptural marital roles and responsibilities every so often and ask her questions to see what she thinks.

Good opportunity to teach her and/or see if she has an attitude that is prone to rebel if it’s not correctable (at which point you could dump her if you’re not married).

Check out his thought provoking blog.

NoFaithInThisSub

You wouldn’t need this contract if Christians only embraced the whole NT in its plain form.

Men do your bit, women do yours.

 

IMHO: This type of agreement is just a more detailed version of vows and may be useful to some people but it does nothing to foster love, submission or attraction and probably does little to nothing to protect you legally.

The relationship agreement experiment

 

 

 

Author: old-fashioned-man

I am a follower of Jesus Christ who has been married since 1989. We had four boys then adopted siblings, a boy and girl from foster care in 2008 when my daughter was seven and my son was eight. We reside in the beautiful state of Colorado.

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