Mother’s day Sermon – Expected Disappointment

Another Mother’s day sermon and another repeat of the complementarian lie to men.

Our pastor spoke of the strong, godly judge Deborah and then the wisdom of Solomon’s mother given to him in the first nine verses of Proverbs 31. He pointed out how wisdom is personified as a woman.
Then we went to Ephesians five joking about how dangerous that is in our culture. He gave a strong admonition to live God’s way and not by our culture. He exhorted wives to submit to their husbands even if they are jerks.
All good teaching! But then comes the tired lie I have heard so often and once believed. It goes something like this, Now men, this does not mean you tell your wife to submit. The word says that she is to be subject not that you should subjugate her. Your job is just to love her.

That is the end of the message. There may be no blatant lie there but the implication given by leaving out Paul’s description of what that love looks like, in my mind becomes a lie of omission.

So l will talk about those next four verses: 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

In these verses I read that a godly man should sacrificially love his wife as Christ loved the church, “that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word.” I have heard so many sermons my whole life ( I am a preacher’s kid) and so many that stopped after verse 25. But, I came to another time of struggle in my marriage and pleading with God for insight. When I read those words, this time my focused was shifted. I began to see that my role as a husband was not to make her happy but to walk with her towards holiness. In verse 28 Paul exhorts husbands to love their wives as their own bodies. To truly care for your body do you give it whatever it wants? Or do you discipline it knowing that a healthy body can not be indulged and needs exercise. Paul also talks about this, although it is in another context, the principle is the same. I Corinthians 9:27 But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.

According to God’s word marriage is a one flesh relationship with the husband as the head and responsible for that body to nourish it and cherish the relationship. Being a jerk, a tyrant does not accomplish that but the goal is still to bring the relationship into subjection to God. That requires grace, mercy and discipline.

I used relationship instead of wife in the last paragraph because together you are a body, one flesh so the head must lead the way in subjection. When I lack discipline my body suffers. I become fat, my possessions begin to fall apart and if I let this continue I become a slave. A slave to the weight to great to carry. A slave to addiction or even a slave to my or her emotions.

Telling husbands not to admonish a rebellious wife and just love her is not love it is apathy.

Author: old-fashioned-man

I am a follower of Jesus Christ who has been married since 1989. We had four boys then adopted siblings, a boy and girl from foster care in 2008 when my daughter was seven and my son was eight. We reside in the beautiful state of Colorado.

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